My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
third nipple confirmed
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize