Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
