i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
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Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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