Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
