He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
