i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
