omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
