Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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