I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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