i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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