Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He better not be in your backpack
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
