The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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