see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
