What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize