Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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