The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
