His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
