imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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