peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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