i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
