i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize