"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
