I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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