Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize