he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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