..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
