I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
