Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
