I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.