i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking