I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
