So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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