she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
