Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
