my room smells like sperm. sweet.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
