its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
