whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
where am i from again
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
