MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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