at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
