It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
