Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
