i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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