So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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