i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
