He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
