it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
