Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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