We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
