im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
