Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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