Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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