At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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