ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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