And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
