i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
