Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
