So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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