What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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