I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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