I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
