Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
