I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
